Already got asked if we're dating
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
