Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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