how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
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He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
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Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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