if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
