Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
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