plz talk dirty to me
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
