Dual....:-)
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
