just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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