I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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