lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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