oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
