you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize