i barfeds in our rink
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
