I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
