Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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