Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I woke up under a house in Key West
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
