You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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