Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
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the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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