and she was petting her beer can
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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