so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
