My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
