he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Dick very happy bro
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
