I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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