Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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