the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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