never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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