I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
