i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men