So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here