stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?