My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
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I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
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I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that