Texts From Last Night

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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.

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  (708): Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot. http://tfl.nu/16kw
  Replies (2) Good night (1067) Bad night (363) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!

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  (917): I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done! http://tfl.nu/5vwu
  Replies (18) Good night (1307) Bad night (2580) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?

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  (845): would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high? http://tfl.nu/v2jv
  Replies (29) Good night (3982) Bad night (654) Order T-Shirt
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.

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  (608): This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night. http://tfl.nu/r58q
  Replies (12) Good night (8828) Bad night (892) Order T-Shirt
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.

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  (505): She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night. http://tfl.nu/d1vk
  Replies (5) Good night (3666) Bad night (962) Order T-Shirt
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  (+25): View more from

  We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?

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  (+25): We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them? http://tfl.nu/7ecx
  Replies (9) Good night (774) Bad night (2406) Order T-Shirt
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it

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  (319): Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it http://tfl.nu/ymth
  Replies (22) Good night (2739) Bad night (1196) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.

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  (845): He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up. http://tfl.nu/zpkp
  Replies (3) Good night (2510) Bad night (793) Order T-Shirt
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.

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  (604): Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends. http://tfl.nu/9u2p
  Replies (9) Good night (2479) Bad night (800) Order T-Shirt
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.

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  (480): I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook. http://tfl.nu/5zqd
  Replies (16) Good night (597) Bad night (2954) Order T-Shirt
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.

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  (602): Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library. http://tfl.nu/6qen
  Replies (12) Good night (1671) Bad night (507) Order T-Shirt
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING

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  (517): I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING http://tfl.nu/fw3v
  Replies (8) Good night (1303) Bad night (576) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened

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  (716): crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened http://tfl.nu/3r2k
  Replies (2) Good night (893) Bad night (316) Order T-Shirt
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  (619): View more from California

  I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening

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  (619): I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening http://tfl.nu/88kw
  Replies (1) Good night (547) Bad night (180) Order T-Shirt
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  (509): View more from Washington

  I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.

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  (509): I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool. http://tfl.nu/4gt2
  Replies (0) Good night (386) Bad night (206) Order T-Shirt

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