Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now

  (917): View more from New York City

  Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway

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  (917): Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now (917): Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway http://tfl.nu/aof1
  Replies (6) Good night (815) Bad night (1119)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'

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  (917): apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money' http://tfl.nu/vf8t
  Replies (4) Good night (1986) Bad night (744) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.

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  (508): So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs. http://tfl.nu/eq7w
  Replies (40) Good night (3758) Bad night (706)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.

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  (513): I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed. http://tfl.nu/lx5o
  Replies (20) Good night (5640) Bad night (702)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.

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  (908): There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life. http://tfl.nu/ab1p
  Replies (87) Good night (7466) Bad night (1302) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?

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  (201): My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud? http://tfl.nu/2vhi
  Replies (27) Good night (7693) Bad night (980) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby

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  (203): all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby http://tfl.nu/jjj6
  Replies (18) Good night (1557) Bad night (5074) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.

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  (248): Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch. http://tfl.nu/snc7
  Replies (10) Good night (4598) Bad night (1011) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems

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  (519): she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems http://tfl.nu/ja9t
  Replies (13) Good night (3362) Bad night (671) Order T-Shirt
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.

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  (905): Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants. http://tfl.nu/3ltp
  Replies (5) Good night (1822) Bad night (494) Order T-Shirt
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.

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  (204): I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here. http://tfl.nu/z5ot
  Replies (6) Good night (935) Bad night (421) Order T-Shirt
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.

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  (205): Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up. http://tfl.nu/igo8
  Replies (6) Good night (2277) Bad night (413)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo

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  (904): The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo http://tfl.nu/8wcq
  Replies (8) Good night (723) Bad night (454) Order T-Shirt
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.

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  (270): Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad. http://tfl.nu/hoxr
  Replies (4) Good night (367) Bad night (535) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.

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  (845): I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel. http://tfl.nu/cl86
  Replies (3) Good night (607) Bad night (154) Order T-Shirt

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