Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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