Soap is not a condiment
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
