her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
There's a naked man in my car right now.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize