he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
he fucked my hip out of place.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Randomize
