playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
