addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
