Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
