I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize