Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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