speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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