True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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