I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
