went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
