They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
