waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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