any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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