I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
