Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
