I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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