she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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