with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
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He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
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If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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