you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
