There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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