ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
