He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't put those talents on a resume
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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