The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
