Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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