Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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