i permit you to call me
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
