so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
