lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Let's get the cat blown out
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
