so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
soo... how was my night?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
