the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
